


An Ode to 3am Showers

by MothmanWingman



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, M/M, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 09:03:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13830906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MothmanWingman/pseuds/MothmanWingman
Summary: In the late night, Shiro's just doing what he can to get by, to feel normal again.Is this how life is going to continue to be? Can he face the reality of it all?Keith knew that the best way to comfort was to just exist by his side.The chemistry between them could do the rest.





	An Ode to 3am Showers

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday Shiro  
> Things will get better.

To be honest, Shiro hadn’t remembered wandering out of bed. Tossing and turning, yes. But he couldn’t answer how he had physically ended up the bathroom.

It felt like his mind was on autopilot as his trembling hand reached out to grab the dial, turning the water warmer than any human (or Galran) should tolerate.

A bath crossed his mind, a cathartic and relaxing experience– but the lack of sleep would threaten to pull him under the water. Something like that wouldn’t be his first dance with death, but if he made it this far only to suffer an untimely demise via bathing, he would be a little bit disappointed in himself.

But Takashi was doing fine now; his birthday was tomorrow, his friends were okay… even though Lotor now invited himself aboard the ship, everything was where it should be. Or– at least, that was what he thought. 

It’s hard to know when you’re getting better mentally when you can’t trust your own brain. Both voices of your consciousness slowly warp and become corrupted over time. The angel on your shoulder whispers into your ear, “Keep going, you’re fine. Nothing’s wrong.” While the demon screeches out, making your skin crawl in the early morning, wondering why you’re not trying hard enough, why you aren’t doing enough for the team. Everyone is risking their lives while you can’t even pull yourself together you’re supposed to lead them not make bad decisions at every turn what’s wrong with you why are you failing them-

Gasp for air.

Shiro hadn’t even realized he had been holding his breath under the showerhead. He was getting bad again. Spacing, growing irritable even with Keith, his significant other; his rock. The man that lay soft asleep in his bed and would give him the world… and apparently even his life. Shiro wrapped his arms around himself as the water streamed down his back at the thought.

Maybe the key to self-care was realizing that his methods were self-destructive. Kinda ironic. 

But Shiro knew that no matter how many 3 am showers he took he couldn’t wash away the crawling feeling on his skin while the galaxy slept. Soap through his hair, scrubbing, scrubbing. It wouldn’t wash away anything, but maybe it could make him feel human.

Both times after being captured the first thing he did after returning, even before eating a proper meal, was to take a shower. There was something so inherently human about the experience. 

But for some reason, that cathartic feeling was missing tonight.

Maybe he wasn’t okay as he seemed, wasn’t as okay as he wanted to believe.

Shiro kept flipping, his head trying to prove that he was okay, even to himself. This radical acceptance that this was his life now was becoming harder and harder to accept. 

The water trailing down his back ran cold, but Shiro didn’t feel a difference. 

It was just water. It was just there. He was just there.

Takashi turned off the water, the showerhead dripping as he stood in the nude, forehead gently pressing against the smooth porcelain tile siding. He closed his eyes. Maybe he could just stay there. Keith would wake up in the late morning thinking that Shiro had just gotten to shower. Tempting, but ridiculous. 

He needed to move. If not for him, for the man with raven hair and royal purple eyes that looked at him as if Shiro was the galaxy himself.  
Takashi never knew what he did to deserve such admiration. He didn’t believe it himself. 

A towel– right. Focus. He needed to dry off next. Shiro glanced over to where the rack was, producing an involuntary small sigh, breath bouncing off the corner of the wall he leaned against.

A knock at the door echoed into the room. “Shiro?”

Takashi contemplated not answering for a moment, but of course, he was in here. The light was on, and the water was just turned off.  
“…Yeah?” The older man managed, gaze dropping to the floor.

“It’s me, Keith. Are you alright in there?” The teen’s voice was low, soft, and, much to Shiro’s heartbreak, he even sounded concerned.

“Yeah.” Shiro managed again, matching Keith’s quiet tone.

Silence spanned between the two of them like a black hole that sucked everything in never to return. Shiro closed his eyes, hoping Keith would get back to bed and go to sleep. He didn’t need to be bothered by what felt like Shiro’s constant flashbacks, amnesia, and mood swings. The Black Paladin just wanted to feel like himself again, and not put that burden onto Keith.

“I’m coming in…” The Blade announced, the door sliding open with a metallic whir. Shiro just breathed out slowly, shoulders losing a tension that he didn’t know he had been holding. There was rustling about in the bathroom and with a creak as the shower door opened. The warmth of what Shiro could safely assume was a towel wrapped around him graced his body. Strong arms followed in an embrace.

A soft huff escaped the Black Paladin’s lips, “You’re going to get wet.”

Something along the lines of, “Worth it,” came out from Keith in a mumble, his face pressed against Shiro’s back. The Blade pulled back just far enough to give Shiro a crooked smile, leading the man out of the room to sit on the corner of the bed.

Keith didn’t need to ask.  
He knew Shiro wasn’t alright.

Shiro didn’t have it in him to say anything.  
He knew that he should, that it wasn’t right for him to keep things in or expect Keith to read his mind. He tried. He opened his mouth, making small shapes with his lips as words failed him. Thoughts had been racing through his mind like a storm, but now there was nothing.  
He physically couldn’t get anything out no matter how hard he tried.  
Takashi bit his bottom lip, eyebrows knitting in as he looked away.

He couldn’t even say he was sorry for waking Keith up. The betraying, burning sensation of tears fell involuntarily from the corners of his eyes.

Keith wrapped an arm around Shiro, pulling the man into his arms and kissing the top of his forehead. “You know how bad I am with words, advice, and everything in between… but I’ll always be here for as long as you need me.” Keith nuzzled in, Shiro leaning into the other man’s warmth.

In the shower, he couldn’t feel anything. Out here, in Keith’s arms, he could feel everything. His mood changed in a moment as if his body connected to a lightswitch. He closed his eyes, trying to will himself to find calm. His ear focused in on a steady beating in Keith’s chest.

Shiro’s voice finally found him, words rough in his dry throat. “How many times are you gonna have to comfort me before this is over?”

A low chuckle rumbled from the chest Takashi leaned against. “As many times as it takes.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at http://mothmanwingman.tumblr.com/


End file.
